Unbreakable – Annie’s story
This blog shares the inspiring journey of a parent who, after surviving years of abuse and feeling abandoned by the system, found hope and strength through the support of PAN. From being isolated and overwhelmed by a traumatic separation from her child, to stepping into advocacy, healing, and helping others—this is a story of personal transformation. It’s about reclaiming voice, building community, and fighting for what’s right—with the help of peer support, legal knowledge, and deep human connection. A powerful reminder that no one should walk these paths alone.
5/8/20243 min read
Can you tell me a little bit about your background and how you came to be involved in PAN?
I first heard of PAN when I was having support from Calan DVS regarding my extremely abusive relationships beginning in 2017. In 2022 my support worker put me in contact with Fiona M, because at the time I was a victim of emotional abuse.
When I spoke to Fiona in PAN it was like a breath of fresh air - someone mentioning parental rights and to fight for what the children deserve was exactly what I needed to hear.
She explained that the service wasn't up and running just yet and asked me about myself and the situation I was in. After a long conversation she proceed to tell me she thought I would be a fantastic person to be on board with PAN and invited me to join the training with Be Strong Families.
Thinking back over the last 12 months – what good or bad changes have come about as a result of your involvement with PAN?
Since being involved with PAN so many things have changed for me:
My opinions on social workers and social services have changed and improved.
I see a way out of my situation and don't feel alone anymore.
How I felt about myself and what happened has changed drastically. I no longer hold as much guilt and have forgiven myself for where I went wrong.
I am more confident, more productive and happier I am much less anxious and because of this I have been able to progress and support other parents who feel the same way I do. It is extremely rewarding to know we are helping others see the light and feel supported.
I know my legal rights because of PAN, and I know how things should have been done and what was done incorrectly regarding my situation.
I have met some amazing professionals and some outstanding parents along the way who will stay with me forever and who are extremely supportive.
My family members feel supported and feel comfort from the support and advice from PAN. This has improved relationships.
Of all the changes you have identified, which one is the most significant to you and why?
The most significant change for me is the changes in myself and who I am and how I've changed and grown so much - the knowledge I've gained and the strength I have.
Regarding the most significant change you've chosen, please can you tell me a bit about what it was like before? What it's like now and what you think brought about the change?
Before PAN I was so lost with the situation with my youngest son who was 4 at the time. I was depressed. I felt as though I was grieving a child who had not passed.
In 2019 I was pressured to sign an SGO when I was extremely, mentally unwell. I had been a victim of abuse since 2016, physically, mentally, financially, sexually.
Anything that could have been done, was done. The SGO was for my son to live with the perpetrator’s mother and her partner till the age of 18 or I would never see him again.
My older son, thankfully, has a different father and was able to reside with him. We have a good relationship and don't have any issues regarding the care for our son.
A supervision order was in place for a year. Contact was in a contact centre for a while and then my mother supervised the contact with both children. My son's guardian unfortunately has used her position against me. I have been refused regular contact - a start-stop on and off pattern whenever she likes, with no concern for the children or myself.
She had been saying some awful things to my son, shouting abuse at him and abuse regarding myself. Abuse and threats to my mother while contact is going ahead.
Having had no support from social services at all - just to be told it’s a contact issue and to get legal advice - I was extremely depressed and lost. I felt alone and helpless. I wasn't mentally prepared to go to court and put myself through that, when I was still being a victim of abuse and trying to heal from past experiences. My older son had as much contact with me as he liked and returned to live with me in 2021/2022.
Now, even though I still have no regular contact, I have proceeded with the court application to get my son home with me, and his brother where he belongs. I am much more confident, productive and determined in everything I do. I am no longer petrified of going to court. If anything, I am excited and very ready to go. Finally, after years of doubt, I no longer doubt myself or my strength.
I have some amazing new relationships with people I have met through PAN and through our family days, our children get to form relationships too and it is so beautiful to see.
For me, it all comes down to support. Without this support from PAN, I don't think I would have felt confident enough to proceed with the court application as quickly as I have and feel so confident about the process and outcome.